Chapter 7 – Sins

As Friday night arrived. Shaheen called saying we should join him as he’s going to this “hang out” spot in New Town.

“Please doll face loose the scarf. Where we’re going? People will look at you oddly.” he pleaded. I have been wearing scarf  for eight years. I  never took it off regardless of the situation. Not for even for weddings and mendhi nights.
For the first time in eight years, I would be leaving home without a scarf. I felt so lost, as if a limb of mine was missing. Shaheen was gushing  with compliments,

“Wow, you  look gorgeous,  I would have never knew such beauty is hiding behind that scarf.” he commented.  Aneesa was so happy that I had allowed Layha to dress me up, with make up and the whole nine yards. I wore a skinny black jeans, with a platinum grey off the shoulder top underneath a silver platinum greyish sequins shimmering type cropped jacket with silver cinderella style stiletto shoes.
We arrived to this so called “trendy place” in Joburg. As you step foot into the dimly lit building with nothing but blinking lights and subtle music your eyes struggle to adjust to the new scenery but the rhythm in your chest quivers with expectation. I have never been inside a club before.

“What would you ladies like to drink?” asked Faheem
“Make is a cooler for me, ” answered Aneesa.

“My bro a cola for me, we need to get home some how.” said Shaheen swiftly.

“Uhm” I said while thinking to myself I have never drank alcohol before but I can’t seem like the slow one. My head and heart at war again. My head saying, taste a little it won’t hurt you. My heart screaming please girl you know better.

“I’m fine” I said to Faheem. I still have values and this isn’t how I act.

“Dammit girl, live a little, stop being the ‘dadima’ no one wants around.” said Faheem frustratingly. 

Quickly thinking of all the movies I’ve watched trying to recall a well-known drink. Thoughts of a martini, cocktail and Cooler came to mind. After a while of contemplating I finally said,

“ A bloody Marry.”
Faheem gave a quirky smile and left to get the drinks.
Shaheen came closer whispering in my ear “Have you ever kissed a boy?”

“No ,I haven’t. I will save that for marriage.” I retorted.  He just smiled in his cute way. “This is my song, come on Fati, let’s go and dance,” he swiftly said while rocking back and forth to the constant beat.

“No” I say, meaning it. I have no idea how to dance. I’ve never danced before in my life. Ok girl! I think to myself whilst trying to recall any “moves” from movies I’ve watched and before I knew it I was there, standing like a cactus doing nothing.

“Oh my, the haari poiri ( good girl) doesn’t even dance at home.” he mocked.
Who would’ve thought that Aneesa and Faheem would be so intimate? They were all over each other. I couldn’t help but sit there and feel jealous, of what she had, every girl dreams of a prince charming. Suddenly I saw Aslam walk in. Shaheen and I started to make our way back to the table where Aslam was only to find him alone. I wonder where Layha is? I thought to myself. Aslam had said, that good wives stay at home and bad girls go and party. I drank another drink. We had shots, and loads of it. Without thinking, unaware of what I was doing, I made my way to the dance floor and started dancing with Shaheen but strangely, found myself looking at Aslam.
Later, Aslam and I sat next to each other. He had ditched the girl he was with earlier, and we began dancing having a blast. He took me where no one could see us and held me. His warm embrace feeling so wrong yet exactly like home. As I looked up at him he kissed me, ”

“Farm girl lets get back before any one notices that we were gone.” he said huskily.
As I returned to the table Faheem rushed toward me saying that in order to have real fun I had to try this out.

“Ecstasy, only take half of it!” he yelled over the now blaring music. So that’s exactly what I did.

WHOA I thought to myself. Now watching the rush of the world passing by extra fast and I felt like I was invincible once again. After dancing a little more, we drank and drank , until I felt so sick that the bathroom floor at the back of the club had become my soul mate for the evening.
All I remember from that night was the feeling of death dawning upon me and as for the rest of that night is a blur. Till today I still have no idea how I made it home, up the stairs and into bed. From the hang-over feeling I experienced the next day. I was certain it must have been one wild night.