Chapter 14 – Confused

I was barefoot. I ran like a maniac and eventually I stopped near a petrol station. I took out a pill and my phone from my pocket. I was out of breath.   “Come fetch me, I am near the petrol station on Queen road.” Time started dragging.  I finally saw my knight in shiny armor approaching in his platinum coloured BMW. He came running towards me and literally swept me off my feet, picked me up and took me into the car. Eventually we stopped at a very expensive hotel.

As we entered the room he whispered in a husky voice,

“Babe, I know you love me, so now prove it.”

He took out a small packet from his jacket pocket. It was the white stuff. He sat on the floor near the black coffee table. Took out his credit card. “Come join me, babes?”

He made two thick white lines on the table with his credit card. He took out a R100 note, rolled it up, held one nostril closed and started snorting the cocaine. He took a deep breathe. I started laughing because he had a little white powder on his nose. He handed the rolled up note to me, “have some babe?” I slid the note across the table, sniffed hard and took a deep breath. I started feeling numb and then euphoric.

When I woke up, I was naked, blood dripping from my thighs. I searched around the room. I was alone. I was horrified and terrified all at the same time.

Aslam barged into the room with some whiskey and started snorting again. “Babe, you hot in bed, I want more,” and started smiling deviously.

“No don’t touch me!” I shouted hysterically.  He handed me some whiskey and I snorted a few more lines. When I woke up this time I was disoriented. I waited and waited and waited. This time Aslam did not return. It is terrifying to wake up not remembering anything.

I went for a cold shower to try and sober myself up. I gathered my clothes from around the room and wore them. My undies looked like they were ripped to shreds. I eventually built up the nerve and called Aslam. He did not answer.

I was not a virgin anymore. I was guilt ridden. My soul was dying a very slow death. I am not a virgin. I could not come to terms with this. I wanted to be a virgin until my wedding night. I stared out of the window watching the rain,  tears dripping from my cheeks remorseful because I lost my virginity and could not even remember anything. I was cold and alone. The guilt started nagging at me. I am Muslim. I wanted to be married before I lost my virginity. How would I explain this to my future husband?

I tried calling Aslam again.

“What, I’m busy !” he answered sounding annoyed.
“Sweetie, I am missing you, where are you, you just left me. I need you. I am not a virgin anymore and can’t deal with this. Please I need you” I pleaded.

“Stop your whining and listen, the cops are on my tail and want to arrest me. I have this plan. We make nikah as soon as possible. Invite who-ever you want. I can’t get over how sexy you are in bed. I can’t go to jail. Tell the cops I was with you that night of the Layha drama. I can’t talk much now, I’m with Layha and this bitch needs to be taught a lesson. Just be ready my secretary Trisha will pick you up to take you shopping. Buy the best. ”

All I could hear was Layha frantically screaming in the background calling me a lying slut.
I was getting married. I was ecstatic. I couldn’t wait for my free reign trousseau-shopping spree. I messaged my parents to invite them to the wedding. My phone started beeping frantically with messages from my parents begging me to reconsider. I just ignored them. I messaged Aneesa begging her to share the happiest day of my life with me. I did not get any response.

The ring from the doorbell startled while I was snorting a small line. When I opened the door, Trisha, a tall thin woman in her thirties was standing there. She looked prim and proper dressed in a crisp white shirt tucked in  pencil black skirt. She clutched a Ted Baker handbag. It was the real thing not that fong kong stuff you get from the China Mall. “I am Trisha, Aslam asked me to take you shopping. Are you ready?” she asked in her icy voice. I stared at her and looked away quickly. I could see from the corner of my eyes she was sternly looking at me. “I wonder what he see’s in you?” she said scornfully. Once I am married the first thing I am going to do is get rid of this bitch, I thought.
We shopped in silence in Sandton. I was glad because I was not in a mood for idle panchaat. I walked in an out of the high class stores with bags and bags of shoes, clothes, and jewelry. My last stop was the exclusive lingerie store on the top floor. I was trying to find the perfect set for our first night as husband and wife. Maybe this time I will remember. My nose started bleeding suddenly. I rummaged through my handbag searching for tissue. I ran into the changing room and once I regained my composure I left.  Trish paid for the lingerie and we left.

Before she started the car, Trisha turned to me and looked at me straight in the eye. “You look like a smart girl, why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you becoming a home wrecker? Aslam and Layha have been struggling to have children for years. They went for all the expensive treatments but nothing happened. They desperately trying to start a family. Why are you interfering.  Just remember that Layha will always be his first love.”

“Just shut up and drive, you just jealous.” I said mockingly. There was a cold silence until we reached the hotel. I did not even jump out of the car properly trying to grip all the shopping bags when Trish just sped off almost knocking me over. “Fuck You!” I screamed watching her drive away far in a distance.